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a preview of
HOWARD: Calm down Mr. President. Were you up all night?Bill Clinton on Howard Stern - The Sequel by Steve Gallagher (dagalagas@yahoo.com) 
CLINTON: Umm... yeah I had insommamma... ROBIN: You mean insomnia? Did you have a good time at "Scores" yesterday? CLINTON: (resumes singing) This is how we do it! This is how we do it! HOWARD: That's a yes, Robin. The president was a big hit with the strippers. Executive lap dances in Lonnie's "special room". CLINTON: Why'd you jerks all leave? I was juss gettin' started... HOWARD: We all have to get up at four in the morning for work. CLINTON: Don't go ta bed ya pussies! HOWARD: Next time, Mr. President. Why don't you drink some coffee and try to straighten up a little. CLINTON: I'll stick to vodka, ya pansy. I don't have ta... jerks... I was president... jerky stupid jerks... HOWARD: Robin, the president's gonna sit in on the news. What's your top story? ROBIN: Well the situation in the Balkans remains a mess. Our troops are still pinned down in Pec. The air support they called in - to try to open a safe escape corridor - unfortunately hit a residential area ten miles away. HOWARD: How many did that kill? ROBIN: Oh... about 1,100 civilians. Our army casualties are mounting, too... HOWARD: Shhh Robin!! Look - the president fell asleep on the couch. What do you want to do with him? JACKIE: How about the hand in warm water trick? HOWARD: Nah... that's a myth. Robin, would it be wrong to shave the president's head? Bababooey - get the clippers! ROBIN: Yes, Howard...It would be very wrong to shave the president's head... where's Bababooey with the clippers? BABABOOEY: (out of breath from walking into the studio) Howard, we can bring in our mystery guest while the president's asleep. He wouldn't have kept his blindfold on anyway. HOWARD: OK Bababooey. Move the president's legs so our mystery guest has a place to sit. Everyone put on your blindfolds! ROBIN: This is so exciting... the president and a mystery guest on the same day... HOWARD: Hurry up Bababooey! BABABOOEY: OK, Howard - the mystery guest is seated. Start the questions. HOWARD: All right, it's my show - I go first. Are you a female? MYSTERY GUEST: (disguising her voice) Yes. HOWARD: Oooh I got one right! I get to go again. Are you good looking? MYSTERY GUEST: Well... some people think so... BABABOOEY: Let me clarify that, Howard. The mystery guest is not generally considered good looking. MYSTERY GUEST: You're so mean! BABABOOEY: I'm sorry Monica, but...oops! HOWARD: You horse-toothed jackass idiot!! You just blew the whole game!! JACKIE: (imitating Bababooey) Bawth... you'll nevah guess who Monica Lewinsky is! Ooopth! BABABOOEY: I'm sorry... it slipped... I am an idiot. HOWARD: Get out! Get out of my sight Bababooey!! Monica! This is great! I can't believe you're here! Is the first time you've seen the president since the whole thing impeachment thing? MONICA: Yeah! Oh, isn't he cute sleeping there? Look, he's still grinding his teeth in his sleep. Oh, I could just kiss him, the big lug! HOWARD: You'd do alot more than kiss him, wouldn't you? MONICA: You're so bad! Of course, I'd do alot more than kiss him - but you're not supposed to talk like that!
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